College Transition

I know I’m not the only one who was super homesick at the start of college, and that’s why I’m writing
this.
It was move in day.  My parents helped me load up our minivan and we took off on the not-very-long
journey to Ann Arbor, stopping for lunch along the way.  The day before, I had gotten a vaccine and my
arm legitimately felt like it was going to fall off (that’s important later).  Once we arrived, all of the
move-in helpers carted my mountain of things into the tiny shared room that I would call home for the
next eight months.  I still don’t know how we fit all of my stuff in that room, but somehow we eventually
did.

Once all of my things were semi-organized, I laid on my bed, exhausted from moving everything with
my incompetent arm.  My parents and I looked around and decided that since I was all moved in, it was
time for them to head out.  I didn’t feel sad at the time, but as I reflected back on that moment in the next
couple weeks, I realized that I should have asked to go home with them.

They walked out the door, and I thought, Wow, I’m truly on my own now!, even though I was planning to
go back home the next day for an appointment.  That wasn’t relevant at the time.  I marched out of my
room and decided I would introduce myself to the girls who lived near me.  I walked up and down that
freshman hall, saying, “Hi, I’m Erin, I live down the hall!” over and over again hoping that something
would click.  Sure, these people were all nice, but I couldn’t keep a conversation going with anyone for
more than a minute.  

After a while of trying to be social, I realized I was insanely tired and retreated to my room.  Who knew
that socializing could be so exhausting? I’m generally an extroverted person, but I had spent most of my
time the summer before at the barn so that was the most human interaction I’d had in a while.  I laid on
my bed and wondered what I would do that night.  Should I go to a party? How does one even go to a
party? I really had no clue, and everyone else seemed to have their friends and activities lined up for the
next week.  

The fact that everyone already had friends and I felt lonely was one of the main reasons that I felt
homesick.  I missed my friends at home and I missed feeling like I had people who wanted to spend time
with me.  Aside from my roommate (who’s the best), I felt like I didn’t have any friends, and I wasn’t
sure what to do.  I hadn’t imagined that it would be so difficult to find a friend when surrounded by
thousands of people, but for me, it was.  

After being told by so many people that college would be the best time of my life, and that I’d meet
my forever friends here, it was disappointing to feel lonely and homesick - two things I’d never really
felt before.  I spent most of the first two months calling my mom multiple times a day about nothing
important (“Mom, I just ate a gluten-free cookie!”) and wishing I could go home.  It’s not supposed to
take this long to settle in, I thought.  But it did, and now I realize that’s okay.

I’m here to tell you that missing your family is fine, missing your friends at home is fine, and feeling
lonely is fine.  I’m here to say that if it took or is taking you a while to meet new people and to feel at
home, that’s fine too.  I have a group of people now that I love hanging out with, and I’d say that my
best advice for meeting people is to join a club.  I met my group of friends on the equestrian team, and
they made me feel like I actually did belong in Ann Arbor.  Also, take a smaller class - it forces you to
interact with people who can be a resource for you when you’re struggling (in my case, dying of calculus).

I no longer feel the urge to go home every weekend, and when I do go home, it’s that much more special.
 I admit, I still call my mom about unimportant things, but that will probably never change because she’s
the best.  So I guess the moral of this story is that if you haven’t found your community yet or it’s taking you a really long time, don’t worry, because a lot of people feel the same way.